One Month Later

So it's been a month since I shaved my head. It's grown just over 1/2". I'm really struggling with it because I am used to doing my hair differently all the time and now my hair is exactly the same every single day. I do however get bedhead now. I get crush marks from my pillow...upside is that it only takes me about 30 seconds to fix it:)

Longings

Proverbs 13:12,19
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but fools detest turning from evil.

I've had a lot of longings in my heart lately. Some are not really "godly" things and some are (not that any of them are ungodly! Well at least not the ones I'm going to blog about).
I long for my hair...I miss it. I dreamt last night that I woke up and it had grown back fully overnight. I was rather disappointed this morning when it was still really short. I know it will eventually grow back and it's doing so quickly but I think that I'm finally mourning the loss of it, wishing that it was back.
I long for quiet times...so I've started taking them. I took a "mental health" day today because I had an incredibly busy week and I needed some time to myself. It was really nice to do that. I still got somethings done that I needed to do, laundry, talked to Jana about my logo, worked on homework, made some phone calls and listened to a sermon. It was great and I need to have these times regularly.
I long for a home...a place where I can unpack my "stuff". I don't even remember what my stuff is anymore. I haven't been in one place for more than 5 months since December 17th, 2004. That's a long time to not have a permanent place to live. Not that I want a place where I'm going to live forever because that would make me crazy but at least somewhere I can call my own. I know that the adage says that "home is where you hang your hat", I try to do that as much as possible wherever I am but there comes a point when it needs to be longer than 5 months!
I long for a healthy body...and a brain that will remember things. I'm sick of being sick so I've decided that the only way to have this longing fulfilled is to do something about it. I've been watching what I eat and I have been seeing the doctor about the rest. I am feeling better already and my heart (and knees) long for the day when I am thin again...oh yes it will happen, just not overnight...yes I am realistic.
I long for school to be done...patience my little grasshopper it will happen. I have 46 more days until my final, final exam! I have a lot to do in the meantime but each assignment finished is one step closer to being done. I am so glad that I have most of the week off before graduation:) I think part of it is because...
I long to do ministry...I know that I'm doing it now. I want to get out in the world and do something. I want to get involved. I want to learn the best way I know how, by doing it. I'm a kinesthetic learner, I need to do to learn well, to build my confidence. I don't know where God is going to take me right now but I know that as long as I am open to what He has for me and am obedient it will be great.
I long for the ability to quit striving...I think I'm beginning to understand. Jordan and Joe are always saying, "No striving" and it is something that I have taken to heart. When we had Pastor Martins here to speak to us in Chapel I was told that I strive too much. The man that prayed over me even told me how I strive too much and for what reasons! It makes me laugh that God revealed so much to me through the man because he told me that I was trying to hard to figure things out, to find the formulas. I guess God laid it all out for me so I wouldn't have to spend time trying to figure out what I was striving in! Ha. The guy who prayed for me talked to me about having an intimate relationship with God and really knowing Him and all things flowing out through that. It's not worrying what to do but allowing the Holy Spirit to work through me, guiding me and I need to learn to listen and what to listen for. So...
I long for a closer relationship with God...deeper, wider, more intense. This won't happen overnight and it won't work if I'm trying to find the magic formula for having the closer relationship so I'm going to relax, pray and read the Word and allow God to speak to me and through me.
I long to do His will...I'll know what that is as I seek Him.
I long to visit my friends in Sri Lanka...what can I say it was a beautiful time in my life.
I long to let my creativity flow again...this logo contest at school has really helped. I used to enjoy art. I used to take art in school. I love drawing, painting, sculpting and generally making anything with my hands. I don't know why I put it to the side...but I do know that I regret it. It's not that I've totally become uncreative but I've not expressed it in an artistic way for a long time. I need to learn how to open the channels again. Maybe I can listen to the Holy Spirit guiding me as God and I talk about it. Yes I'm being sarcastic but only because it's something that I need to learn to do, not be sarcastic but to let God lead me.

Well it's been an outpouring, kind of sounds like Vicki's blog, but I think I really needed to get it out...it was longing to come out! Ha Ha Ha.

Yay for Blitz Trips

This past weekend I went on my first ever Blitz weekend (more info in my previous post). It was a thoroughly enjoyable trip. We drove the 9 hours to Selkirk on Friday. When we were just outside of Portage I phoned Laura and when I told her that I was going to be in Selkirk she was rather excited. She came out to see me on Saturday night for a little while...it was fun...Barney Gargles...weird name for a restaurant.

Anyhow Friday night we did a Youth service. Many of us on the team were feeling like God was going to do a work in the Youth that night. During our time of prayer before the service God confirmed to me the topic that I was preaching. It was a pretty heavy topic so I was a little hesitent to preach it. It was awesome to hear someone whom I had just met and did not know what I was going to preach on pray that the kids would hear a message of love that would change them. I was preaching about our relationship with Jesus and how it's so much more than just believing in Him, it's about being changed, transformed into his likeness. God had given me a vision of a heart which had sticks protruding from it and he told me that he wanted me to preach it. I was really quite confused at first but as I listened to His voice he told me what to preach to go along with my playdough heart with twigs in it.

I preached from my testimony. When I came to Christ I needed to have a lot of things changed in my life. I told the youth how God did that in my life and how he could do it in theirs. Sometimes it's slow and gentle, sometimes things need to come out all at once and it can be very painful but God is always there to support us, standing by us the whole time. He does it because He loves us so much. He wants to make us better people, more Christlike so that we can do the kingdom work he has called us to do more effectively.

Now I must confess that I have never really spent much time reading Thessalonians but when I was preparing for this sermon I found this verse and I love it. It reassures me that God wants this process to happen and that He'll not leave me to try and do it on my own.

1 Thessalonians 5:23
May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together--spirit, soul, and body--and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ.

Ok enough preaching.
Saturday we spent the afternoon with the children doing a program for them. It was cool because there were lots of kids there, 43 to be exact. The Pastor's wife told us that there were kids there who she had never seen before so that was awesome. We were having such a good time that the kids didn't want to leave! There was a family of kids who came and one of the kids was autistic. His dad told us that he wasn't allowed in the kitchen or to play with anything from the kitchen and that we were to be firm with him that he couldn't have the things he was bound to ask for. I ended up being in the kitchen fixing the snacks for the kids so I had him asking me probably 40-50 times if he could have the purple cup, then it switched to the blue bowl. I really enjoyed talking with Austin, he was a great kid. He loved different shapes and colors. He was a highlight of my day...even though my fellow, beloved team member kept asking me "Kendra, can I have the purple cup?"

Sunday morning we led the morning service. Trent was preaching and Courtney, Melissa, Charlotte and Sheldon were led worship. I didn't really have anything to do so I helped Trent with the power point. Trent ended up leading the congregation in Communion as well that morning. It was a great time and everyone enjoyed themselves. We had a potluck after the service and it was great to meet a lot of the people who attend church there.

Pastor Andrew and his family were fantastic. They treated us very well. I'd like to give a shout out to the Penners, Marie and Melvin, they were fabulous hosts and fantastic people. I really enjoyed getting to know them and I LOVED the home-baked bread (not from a bread machine here people!).

The trip home was not overly eventful. The van was sucking oil and we wondered if it would hold out but it did. Sheldon was able to get his winter coat from his mom when we stopped in Neepawa on the way home. Yay! for winter coats. We arrived home late on Sunday night and I promtly asked Trent when they were going out again cause I wanted to go too. We head out to Star City the last weekend in March! Yay!