Longings

Proverbs 13:12,19
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but fools detest turning from evil.

I've had a lot of longings in my heart lately. Some are not really "godly" things and some are (not that any of them are ungodly! Well at least not the ones I'm going to blog about).
I long for my hair...I miss it. I dreamt last night that I woke up and it had grown back fully overnight. I was rather disappointed this morning when it was still really short. I know it will eventually grow back and it's doing so quickly but I think that I'm finally mourning the loss of it, wishing that it was back.
I long for quiet times...so I've started taking them. I took a "mental health" day today because I had an incredibly busy week and I needed some time to myself. It was really nice to do that. I still got somethings done that I needed to do, laundry, talked to Jana about my logo, worked on homework, made some phone calls and listened to a sermon. It was great and I need to have these times regularly.
I long for a home...a place where I can unpack my "stuff". I don't even remember what my stuff is anymore. I haven't been in one place for more than 5 months since December 17th, 2004. That's a long time to not have a permanent place to live. Not that I want a place where I'm going to live forever because that would make me crazy but at least somewhere I can call my own. I know that the adage says that "home is where you hang your hat", I try to do that as much as possible wherever I am but there comes a point when it needs to be longer than 5 months!
I long for a healthy body...and a brain that will remember things. I'm sick of being sick so I've decided that the only way to have this longing fulfilled is to do something about it. I've been watching what I eat and I have been seeing the doctor about the rest. I am feeling better already and my heart (and knees) long for the day when I am thin again...oh yes it will happen, just not overnight...yes I am realistic.
I long for school to be done...patience my little grasshopper it will happen. I have 46 more days until my final, final exam! I have a lot to do in the meantime but each assignment finished is one step closer to being done. I am so glad that I have most of the week off before graduation:) I think part of it is because...
I long to do ministry...I know that I'm doing it now. I want to get out in the world and do something. I want to get involved. I want to learn the best way I know how, by doing it. I'm a kinesthetic learner, I need to do to learn well, to build my confidence. I don't know where God is going to take me right now but I know that as long as I am open to what He has for me and am obedient it will be great.
I long for the ability to quit striving...I think I'm beginning to understand. Jordan and Joe are always saying, "No striving" and it is something that I have taken to heart. When we had Pastor Martins here to speak to us in Chapel I was told that I strive too much. The man that prayed over me even told me how I strive too much and for what reasons! It makes me laugh that God revealed so much to me through the man because he told me that I was trying to hard to figure things out, to find the formulas. I guess God laid it all out for me so I wouldn't have to spend time trying to figure out what I was striving in! Ha. The guy who prayed for me talked to me about having an intimate relationship with God and really knowing Him and all things flowing out through that. It's not worrying what to do but allowing the Holy Spirit to work through me, guiding me and I need to learn to listen and what to listen for. So...
I long for a closer relationship with God...deeper, wider, more intense. This won't happen overnight and it won't work if I'm trying to find the magic formula for having the closer relationship so I'm going to relax, pray and read the Word and allow God to speak to me and through me.
I long to do His will...I'll know what that is as I seek Him.
I long to visit my friends in Sri Lanka...what can I say it was a beautiful time in my life.
I long to let my creativity flow again...this logo contest at school has really helped. I used to enjoy art. I used to take art in school. I love drawing, painting, sculpting and generally making anything with my hands. I don't know why I put it to the side...but I do know that I regret it. It's not that I've totally become uncreative but I've not expressed it in an artistic way for a long time. I need to learn how to open the channels again. Maybe I can listen to the Holy Spirit guiding me as God and I talk about it. Yes I'm being sarcastic but only because it's something that I need to learn to do, not be sarcastic but to let God lead me.

Well it's been an outpouring, kind of sounds like Vicki's blog, but I think I really needed to get it out...it was longing to come out! Ha Ha Ha.