The Mockhawk is Back

So I decided to go with the mohawkish style hair once again. I am so glad that I did it. I always wonder if I'm doing the right thing and then when I get it cut it always feels like it's the haircut I'm supposed to have. Who needs fashionable hair anyways?

And this is the side view. I went for the whole deal. I think just having the hawk on top is super cheese...well...ok no, I think it's all or nothing.

Dudes I Just Realized That I've Been Blogging For A Year!!!!

All About me from A to Z

So why do we always make rhymes for Zee instead of Zed when that's how we say it?? Just a question. I got this off of Courtney's blog. I thought it might be fun cause it doesn't have the usual dumb questions.

A- Age of your first kiss: sure don't remember

B- Band you are listening to right now: My Dad Snoring

C- Crush: on an old friend

D- Drink you drank last: Canada Dry Gingerale

E- Easiest person to talk to: I have a few, Lori, Rebecca, Lisa, Laura, Vicki

F- Favorite ice cream: mint chocolate chip or anything with peanut butter and chocolate

G- Gummy worms or gummy bears: bears cause there are more parts to bite off; )

H- Height: 5' 8"

I- Instruments: I used to play the violin

J- Jelly Flavor: Is this like gelatin or like jamish jelly? I like all kinds of jamish jelly. My fave would have to be crabapple. If it's gelatin (jello) jelly I don't really like it.

K- Kids: none yet

L- Longest car/bus ride: travelling from Saskatoon to Jaurez, Mexico non-stop on a greyhound-like bus!

M- Major issue: Readjusting to life in Canada

N- Nicknames: Kender and other derivatives of my name

O- One wish: to have a glimpse of His glory

P- Phobia: I HATE worms (but that's not why I didn't pick gummy worms) They usually have to be hanging from trees or being thrown at me to make me freak out

Q- Quote:

R- Reasons to smile: all the small things

S- Shoe size: 9 or 10 depending on the shoe

T- Time you woke up today: 8am

U- Unknown fact about me: I have a mole in my belly button

V- Vegtables: cauliflower and asparagus

W- Worst Habit: procrastinating on the things that I hate doing

X- Xmas gift you really want: nothing that money can buy

Y- Your favorite Yoghurt: plain with blended fresh fruit, granola, orange juice or a little honey.

Z- Zodiac sign: Scorpio (which I got to see while I was in Sri Lanka!!) I like stars.

my Reno Job

These are a couple of pictures of my Dad's new office. I wish that I had taken a picture of the room before I started redoing it. My Dad likes western things, he grew up on a farm so I decided to make him a room in the house that was his and his alone. He really likes it.

the Doors in my Mind

Have you ever felt really off but not known why? I realized tonight that I have a lot going on inside my head, some of my doors are open and I didn't even know it.

To explain, that means when I visualize inside of my mind I see a round room. There are doors all around the room and I'm in the middle. There are also many floors or storey's of this crazy round room with all the doors. Behind each door is a memory. The doors are decorated so that I know what kind of memory is behind that door and whether or not I want it open. Some are pretty doors that have great happy memories behind them. Some are black. Some have chains, boards nailed in and beware signs on them.

Now that you have a visual of my head, these doors that are opening are not the pretty ones. I've taken down some of the chains, boards and signs in the past by dealing with the bad stuff behind them but there is always the residue that gets stuck on the door from years of the sweat and the tears trying to keep those doors closed. I don't mind when those doors open and I have some way of dealing with it but right now I have no one to talk to. I need to talk these things out loud or they don't make any sense to me.

So I had a bubble bath tonight and started crying after I got out because I realized that I am really sad. I'm sad about a lot of things. I'm also lonely. Weird to be staying at my parents house, even my youngest brother is here and I'm lonely. I'm also angry. Some of these doors have to do with family memories and I'm not sure what to do with it. I'm not good with anger. Heck let's be honest I'm not good with most emotion.

Well I dont really want to say anymore on account of this being a public record so thanks to those who have listened.

I'm Alive

hi friends. I'm sorry that I haven't written anything in a long time. I've been sans computer.

I am doing a reno job for my dad right now. I'm redecorating and organizing his office. I had to take the computer out of the room so that I could paint and put in a new tongue and groove wainscotting around the room. We're going for a "urban cowboy" look. My dad loves all things western but the room used to be my brother's bedroom so it has silver blinds, ceiling fan and chrome lamps. They didn't fit the western style so we had to do it contemporary. I think it looks really nice. My dad loves it. The room used to be blue, almost a navy blue... Okay for a bedroom but not so much for an office.

It has been snowing here for a couple of days now. I can't complain though because we didn't have snow before this and I love snow! I feel sorry for Murray and Esther (my friends who are still in Sri Lanka) because they are in a nice, warm, tropical place and they are going to come home to freezing cold!

So being away from everything that is normally home for me has been a lot harder than I thought it would ever be. I still feel homeless...well that's probably because I am. I've had a lot of time to think...which is sometimes scary...and I have a new plan for my life...in the immediate future I mean...not changing my long term goals.

I need to have a good job. I am afraid to say that the education that I am receiving is not going to get me a good job that will allow me to make good money so that I can pay off my loans and be able to do the things that God has called me to do. I realized that I needed further training than what I have when I was in Sri Lanka. It is hard for missionaries to raise enough money to live on while they are in their designated countries and many of them have to work to make it.

Well I don't have any other skills that would translate into a job overseas so I've decided to go to school to get one. I was thinking about this while I was in Sri Lanka. I prayed that God would give me direction because I had no idea where to begin.

Before my sister's wedding I volunteered to make the program for the ceremony. I had a really good time doing it cause I love that kind of stuff. After the wedding my sister's friend Laura asked me if I would make a brochure for her business. I didn't end up doing them cause the lady that was supposed to do them got it done but I realized that I really enjoy doing those kinds of things. One night I was praying and I was asking God about this job thing and he made the connection for me because I obviously wasn't getting it. So after I'm done at CPC I am going to go to school to be a graphic designer. I did some research and it is amazing the scope of what a graphic designer can do, it's not all animation. So right now I am looking into some schools. Unfortunately there is not a school in Saskatoon that has the program: (