Grieving

Today was a beautiful sunny day, which is unusual during monsoon time. Most days it rains off and on and it's cloudy and dreary. You learn very quickly to relish the sunshine, even if it is only for a few minutes because it might be all you get for a couple days.

I've been reflecting a lot lately about the things that I have been though while being here. When I first came and everything was so new and amazing then when everything sucked and I hated it. Now I'm in the place where I could see myself living here. I really could. I don't know if that will ever happen but I've come to terms with the things that I hated and I'm not overwhelmed by all the poverty/health/injustice issues anymore. I think that I have already started grieving. I'm going to miss life here. The other day I was walking home from school and I realized that I feel at home here. When people ask where I live I say "Lady Macallum's Drive" not "Canada". Living here feels normal, right not unusual and weird like it did at first.
Having been sick so much hasn't really affected how I feel and hasn't caused me to hate it here. It was just a hurdle, something to overcome. God taught me a lot through the times when I was laid up in bed.

On July the 3rd I will only have 2 more months here. I can't think about it that much because I cry when I do. And then I feel guilty because I know that there are lots of people at home who can't wait for me to come home. I want to come home too but I know that I am going to have a hollow spot in my heart where Sri Lanka lives.