A True Servant's Heart

So just to continue my thoughts on the selfishness in my life...

I don't think that I'm always selfish...at least not in totally obvious ways...but the ways that I serve are usually doing things that I enjoy. When I enjoy it I give it my all and then some. God's been showing me lately that to have a servant's heart is not always getting to do the things that you like. Being a true servant is more about attitude.

I really enjoyed being president of the student body at CPC this year. It was an act of service but it wasn't really like service to me because it was easy...I enjoyed it. Now helping Matt and Rebecca around the house or with the kids is not always something that I enjoy and often I do it begrudgingly. One day God showed me how much my attitude sucked. I was resenting the fact that I was "having" to do this things. God told me that I wasn't doing it for them but for Him. When I realized that I began to enjoy my task much more. God is much more pleased I think when something is done with a willing, cheerful heart then if you are doing it because you feel obligated or because you know that it is the right thing to do.

I still do things I don't like to...like dishes...but that's ok because I am doing it with the right attitude. I still have times when my attitude sucks but I'm working on it. I think the hardest part for me is not doing what I want to do when I want to do it. Sometimes what I want to do has to wait. Getting rid of the "self"...arrrgh it is so hard. In Phil 2:1-4 it says...

"Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and sympathetic? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose. Don't be selfish; dont' live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing." (NLT)

It's so easy to get wrapped up in ourselves; to do what we want and not even consider those around us. Here in Sri Lanka they are very community oriented, others opinions, needs and desires are important to them. Families are huge and span many generations. Anyone older than you is an auntie or an uncle and close friends and cousins are considered like sisters and brothers. I've learned a lot from the people here, especially about giving of yourself.