Sometimes I wonder when it happens.

You know when you are going about your life and suddenly you realize that things have changed.

Not the things you really notice like your hairstyle, your job but the inside things that we sometimes don't pay enough attention to.

Maybe we need some event or situation to trigger a realization within ourselves that things are different, something has changed.

Last week I realized that something had changed inside of me.

Maybe it was the fund raising that I had done for Matt and Rebecca, maybe it was talking with Pastor Scott about what I wanted to be involved in at church.

Maybe it was an accumulation of a lot of things that finally made me realize that my focus had changed, well maybe not changed but the direction is more clear.

I am going to Sri Lanka. Pastor Scott asked me at our meeting what I felt God had called me to do and I said to be a missionary. He asked where I would go if I could go anywhere and I said Sri Lanka. At the time I said I picked Sri Lanka because it was within my frame of reference but since then I have had this deep, deep ache (for lack of a better word to describe it) in my heart whenever I think about it. There are still a lot of unknowns but I trust God and have a new excitement for what lies ahead.

HELP!
I have an urgent request. Most of you know that I went to Sri Lanka for my internship a couple of years ago. I heard from my friends who run the school that I taught at and they are having some financial difficulty right now. Matt and Rebecca have not had any income since June 2006 (for Rebecca) and Feb 2006 (for Matt). They've been getting by on a small income from Canada but their rent needs to be paid at the end of this month for the year. No that's not a mistake, in Sri Lanka you pay rent a year in advance. They need $3600 USD by the end of the month. I am helping them to raise the money and I'm asking you to help. I know that it seems like a very significant amount of money to raise and maybe you can only give $10 but every dollar counts. I've raised over a thousand CAD already:)

If you are interested in helping you can send money via credit card on their website saef.net (Schools for Asia Educational Foundation) or you can send a cheque or money order to the address below. IMPORTANT - please indicate the money as "Baker's salary" on the cheque/money order or when using your credit card. Thank you.

Schools for Asia Educational Foundation
PO Box 323 Station Main
Abbotsford, BC V2T 6Z6
Canada

Hello

hello everyone.
it's been awhile.
i have my own computer now.
so i'm going to do my best to blog again.
i'm a little rusty.

Moving

I started writing this entry a long time ago and I'm glad that I left it because it has somewhat of an ending now.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm feeling it.
I'm feeling the effects of not being grounded, of not having a place to call my own. It has been physically and emotionally demanding on me but it has not been all negative, I've come away with a different perspective on life.

I changed the title of my blog when I came back from Sri Lanka and found myself struggling with readjusting to the North American culture. At that time I was finding my way back into my "home" as a country and culture and as that began to happen I realized that I needed a place to live that I felt was my home, somewhere I could be grounded for a while.

I lived with my parents when I returned from Sri Lanka and needed a break. They graciously allowed me to "come home" for a semester so that I could regain my strength and take a much needed rest. I "came home" again after graduating from college in April and my time here was much different because I am working and not here as much but it's still not home. I mean it's my parents house it should feel like home but it doesn't. It's not that I feel uncomfortable but when you've lived on your own for 11 years and then return home you can't just walk right back into the feeling that you're home, the dynamics have changed, I've changed so much and so have they. I just want a place to call my own.

The positive aspect to all of this is that it has made me realize a great many things ranging from survival to spiritual. Everyone needs a place where they feel safe and secure both physically and emotionally. Yes being here and there I felt physically secure but never really mentally or emotionally able to relax completely. Your home/room should be your sanctuary, a place to get away from it all, a place to be alone. This is something very important to me, always has been but I think it went up several notches on the Important Things In My Life list.

Our home here on earth is temporary, we all know that but I have realized that no matter what upheaval life sends me or I put myself into there is always one constant that never changes, goes everywhere with me, fits into my life if I unpack it and that is God and my relationship with Him. I know that sounds so "Bible College" of me to say but it has really sunk into my heart and soul this last 20 months. I can't say that I've been reading the word and praying everyday, I can't say that I've been a model Christian but I can say that God has stripped away a lot of spiritual junk that I've been packing around for a long time. I'm always amazed when I look back at things that have happened in the past and see a pattern that I had never seen before.

Isaiah 51:6-8
Lift up your eyes to the heavens, look at the earth beneath; the heavens will vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment and its inhabitants die like flies. But my salvation will last forever, my righteousness will never fail. "Hear me, you who know what is right, you people who have my law in your hearts: Do not fear the reproach of men or be terrified by their insults. For the moth will eat them up like a garment; the worm will devour them like wool. But my righteousness will last forever, my salvation through all generations."

So Winnipeg is starting to feel like home. I've slowly been unpacking my belongings...sorting through. Throwing or giving away the things I don't need anymore...slowly coming to the realization that I'm here for a while...I'm home...for now.

Living La Vida Winnipeg

So I've had this song stuck in my head for hours now...

"oooooh baby do you know what it's worth, oh heaven is a place on earth..." ok so the song dates me a little:) It's Belinda Carlisle, "Heaven is a Place on Earth", that place is not yet Winnipeg. I don't hate it here...I just don't love it yet.

Work is great. I love my job and I love my store and all the other people who work there! Even more I love my new Barista espresso machine that I just bought! I made my first drink tonight!! It was a decaf quad tall vanilla americano with fat free creamer!! Wow I'm going to love having that little machine. It's a machine of goodness and love!

Right so living in the Peg... I love being in a big city, I love working downtown, I am really enjoying my new church - getting to know people and stuff. I've decided to be involved in anything missions oriented at the church. I've already done a missions focused night for the Wednesday night kids program. It was fun. I made up a game called Paul's Missionary Journey. The kids really liked it. Showed my fabulous slideshow from my trip to Mexico. Who knew that Tech for Min class would be so handy. I've shown that slideshow twice now. Thanks Dr. K.

I've seen a few friends from Central. Well I see Laura Patterson about 4 times a week cause we hangout all the time but for people I don't normally hang with I've seen Laura Theissen, Russell Gauthier, Joe Kendrick, Sarah Kendrick and Courtney Bowman. Good Times.

So I live with my cousin Brendan. Our dads are brothers so we both have the same last name. He has two bunnies, Fiesty and Flopsy. They're great. I love them even though I'm allergic to them. When Brendan is out of town I look after them, cleaning their pen and feeding them. I do have to wear a mask when I'm with them or I can't breathe for awhile:( Living here is great, Brendan and I get along well. He's just happy he has his very own barista...ha ha.

I'm going home to Grande Prairie for Christmas. I'm only going to be there for 3 days. I can't really afford to take more time off. I'm just glad that I get to go at all.

I'm going to try and get back in the blogging groove now that I feel so far away from everyone but that would require my computer to be fixed so we'll see when that happens.

Peace out y'all

I'm Alive

Hey friends,

Just letting you know that I am still alive and in Winnipeg. I've been busy getting settled in and starting work and just havent' had the time to do any blogging. Now that things are settling down I promise that I will start blogging more regularly and maybe I'll even finish my trip to Israel...or at least Day 10!! (Hey Sue:)

My Weekend in Winnipeg

My weekend in Winnipeg was tons of fun. When I arrived at the airport I came down the escalator to the baggage area, looking for Laura as I came down and as I went through the gate I was attacked by my Aunt Irene. I saw her at the last minute and then I was being hugged. It startled me because I wasn't expecting to see her. Apparently my cousin Ashley was on the same flight. We didn't recognize each other...we even entered the plane one infront of the other!! Craziness! My Uncle Jim (Irene's husband), Uncle Herbie and Aunt Peggy (Ashley's parents) were there too. Laura was there and I eventually spotted her...she looked frightened....I would be too, my family is loud. So Laura was introduced to my family.

Friday night Laura and I went to a coffee seminar at Starbucks, well we made it there for the last 5 minutes anyway. Then we went to my cousin Brendan's house where I am moving to and I got another look at my room. He's letting me paint my room orange!!! It's going to be a mellow cantelope colour. I'm stoked about that. We then met some people for a late supper at Pizza Hut and went home.

Saturday was the day of Sherri's wedding. We were running a little late, we didn't realize it took longer than an hour to get to Morden...oops. Well we finally found the church and thought that it was pretty quiet outside. I had to pee so I ran into the church and low and behold the ceremony was well underway so I peeked through the window and saw that the pastor had just said, "You may now kiss the bride"!!!!!!!!!!! We watched the rest of the ceremony through the windows in the doors. We had the time of the ceremony wrong. It was mostly my fault and I felt really bad. We were standing out in the lobby feeling really awkward when Sherri and Jeff came out of the hall we were standing there and we were the first to congratulate them with tears and hugs...Sher was crying. She said she did ok until coming out. We stayed for the reception and then Vicki came with us back to Winnipeg and we ate leftover pizza and played Scrabble. Goodtimes.

Laura and I did lots of other things and they were all good. My flight home was a bit of a fiasco but what to do? My plane to Grande Prairie was about 5 hours late and when I finally got to GP at 2:30am they had misplaced my luggage:( I got it the next day though so all is well. Oh by the way I move in 6 days!!!!!! YAHOO!

DAY NINE In Israel

Day nine was an interesting day, a kind of disappointing day, and a totally amazing day as well. On the night we arrived in Israel we all signed up for specific project that were going to take place on Day nine so today was the day. I had signed up to go to the Melabev Senior Care Center. The seniors who go to Melabev go during the day returning home in the afternoon and all of them have some form of mild dementia. While there we played word games with them, Markus and Johannes played the violin and guitar, we sang a few songs and then they shared with us the welcoming of the Shabbat. Most of us had not participated in it before and it was really cool to get to share that with them.

When we were finished there we headed to Ben Yehuda Street where we had lunch and did some shopping. So this is where the disappointing time comes in. Lisa and I were shopping and we lost track of time so we were a few minutes late getting to the meeting point so that we could go to the next place which was the Hineni Terrorist Survivor Center. We were going to meet with two victims of terrorist attacks and they were going to share their stories. I really wanted to go and was frustrated and upset with myself for missing it. The funny part is that Lisa and I hung around instead of going back to the hotel because we knew that the bus was leaving from Ben Yehuda at 4pm. We waited for the bus and then got on with everyone and no one noticed that we had not been there!

In the evening we went to the The King of Kings Young Adults Worship service called "Deep End". This is where the totally amazing part comes in...The worship service was awesome. Each service they have a message that they portray through music, video, stories, and scripture. The music was excellent and was in both English and Hebrew. I love going to services in other languages because you can experience the presence of God even though you don't fully understand what is being said...it really puts your life and the "importance" of North America into perspective if you know what I mean.

During the service God really spoke to me about a lot of things. He reaffirmed my move to Winnipeg and my goal of being a missionary. He also birthed new dreams in my heart which I had never thought of before, gave me answers to things that I had been struggling with, and He talked to me about personal things.

On of those personal things was that I had developed a small crush on one of the guys on the tour. I wasn't sure what to do with it, if anything. Now for those of you who know me well know that I'm not one to emote very many personal emotions, nothing that would make me vulnerable so when God spoke ever so clearly to me and told me to tell him I was shocked but I knew that I now had to do it. I still can't believe that I did. When we got back to the hotel I confided in Lisa as to my plan, she thought I was crazy. I told her I was going to do it the next day. I also informed my roommate, Andrea of what I was going to do and she thought it was crazy. I guess you'll have to find out what happened on DAY TEN;)

THREE MORE DAYS OF WORK...

Until I leave to go to Sherri's wedding. I'm excited to go not only because it's Sherri's wedding but because I get to see Laura P-atterson and Miss Vicki! Being in Grande Prairie for four months without seeing any of my friends has been hard. I'm going to be in Winnipeg for 5 whole days...5 busy days that is. I'm going to my cousin Brendan's house to check out my room:) and I'm going to try and meet with the District Manager of Starbucks in Winnipeg so we can discuss my transfer to a store there. I also hear that the Folk Festival is on:) Yeah! It'll be a mini holiday. Good Times.

For The Picture Junkies

The tour that I was on in Israel was with Grafted which is the Young Adults section of International Christian Embassy Jerusalem. If you'd like to see more pics of the tour you can click on the title of this blog and it will take you to the site.